Unseen
by KuroCiel
Summary: ONE SHOT: Nagisa was pushed too far over the edge by his mother. He always tried his hardest to hide the fact that he was on the edge of a mental breakdown and did not talk with anyone about his problems. Nobody noticed it before it was too late. WARNING: Character Death. Slight BL as well. Alternative version up!: No Character Death in this version.
1. One Shot

**Okay... I decided to publish this One Shot. I must warn you. If you did not read the description completely. There will be Character death. You can properly predict who it is.**

 **Anyway. I think it is the perfect time to publish it.**

 **Enjoy the pain~**

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 **Nagisa POV**

Another day at home. Another time where I had to have one of my arguments with my mother. She was trying over and over again to convince me on changing class and I always told her that I liked it there. _E-class is the best place I have ever been…_ She yelled at me again this morning for being a 'stubborn' child, she said. I was sure of she would try to make me change class anyway and had a whole lot of reasons for why.

These mornings and also in the evenings, were always either silent or filled with arguments. I would always go to my room as my mother's words would become more and more hurtful. She would call me things, make me feel bad about things that are not even my fault. Sometimes, bad about myself. I kept on convincing myself in that she was right. Even though I deep inside knew it was not true. My heart had been broken so many times that is was impossible to try anything else than thinking it was true.

When I would be trying to cheer he up, she would always ruin the moment with something about school, my friends or my look. I hardly ever tried to talk back at her anymore. I had always been thinking bad of myself after all those years after my father left. I hated it and wanted it to end. She had been psychically violent towards me in the past, but somehow she found out that words hurt even more than a few punches. The worst things she sometimes would tell me was that I was fat, or had weird friends and I should try to do so many things that we both knew were impossible for me at this age. _I am still only 14 years old…_

My heart could not take much anymore. If I just got an ironic compliment, I would properly lock down emotionally and do not say anything about it. The only place I feel a bit better mentally, was in the E-class. Everyone were not my mother, but I knew deep inside, the smallest thing that was serious meant, could break me.

This morning, something new happened. Not good though. I had another argument with my mother. She called me names and said I was a brat, but I did not see the last thing come.

 _"Seriously… I wish you never had been born. Everything would be easier without you!"_ My mother left the kitchen right after that in rage. All I could do was feeling my emotions get out of control. I had heavy breathing, I could feel the sweat. I embraced myself and clearly knew this had a big impact on me. I smiled all of a sudden.

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 _"Maybe she is right…?"_

 _._

 _._

 _._

I calmed down without doing anything. I let go of myself and let my hands fall like a doll loose on strings. My emotions got under control, but it was like they left me after that. I felt empty inside and nothing but thoughts about her last comment.

 ** _"I wish you never had been born. Everything would be easier without you!"_**

I did not even argue with it. I just thought…. She was right. My sad smile formed on my lips as I concluded it. She was right… _She is right…. It would be better without me._ I collected enough energy and courage to take my school bag and left the apartment. I wished for somebody to help me, but I did not want to a burden to anyone. Maybe I could forget about it in school… I hoped so.

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 _"I must not let them know at all."_

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I made it to school. As I sat in the classroom all by myself, I had my notebook in front of me. I looked down at it while I felt my hand holding the pen, tremble. I had to get my feelings down on paper before anyone would arrive. I made it.

As I had written todays little note. I hid it away in my bag. I felt a bit better, but only enough to put on my typical façade. They all came in soon after and were talking with one another. I greeted them like I always did, a fake smile that seemed real to them. That was good enough.

"Good Morning Nagisa!" Kayano greeted me with a warm smile. I smiled back and greeted, but I somehow got this evil thought inside my head.

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

 ** _That was a fake smile. She doesn't like me._**

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 ** _._**

"Good Morning Nagisa!" Sugino also greeted me with a warm smile.

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 ** _Another fake smile. Why do they even smile at me? Why act..?_**

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I had had these thoughts about everyone since a week ago. My mother had told me that everyone were lying to me. They all did not like me at all and lied to me in order to have me close to them. I thought she was right once again about her statements. It had made me think nobody liked me in the class. Well. Not for real at least. Karma entered the classroom right before class would start. I gave him one of my only true smiles. I liked him a lot. I thought I loved him at the very least. I knew, today was the day I had to know if he had the same feelings for me. We were very close after all. So I wanted to know if anyone in this world really cared about me.

The school day went on as it always did. Assassination attempts on Koro-sensei. I joined in some of the times a well, just to keep up the façade. Lunch time came and I knew this was the time to know the true colors of my red haired friend. I took out my little box. It was actually the one from yesterday. Like I would have any appetite today. I did not prepare anything for today. Why would I? I might not even need it…

 **ALL POV**

Karma came over to Nagisa's desk and smirked at him. The bluenette smiled awkward up at him as they both already planned from the morning that they were going to have lunch together.

"So, Are you coming?" the red head asked and smiled as he had a very little lunchbox and a strawberry milk with him. Nagisa nodded with a nervous smile and picked up his lunchbox. They went outside and farther up the mountain to were Karma often would be hiding when he would have lost to the octopus in some way. It was Karma's idea for going up there as he wanted to go away from the classroom as he was a bit tired of all the people around him all the time. They reached the edge and sat down some meters away from it. They sat by a tree stump and held their boxes in front of one another.

Nagisa was silent the first few minutes. He looked at his box and did not feel like doing anything at all.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Karma asked out of the blue. Nagisa smiled sadly and looked up at the red head who had started with drinking his strawberry milk. Karma looked a little confused at him and then just leaned back to relax.

"Karma…?" he got his attention and smiled a bit more to keep the façade. "Do you have someone you like?" he asked. Karma looked surprised at him and let his hand with the milk rest on his lap.

"What? What do you mean by like? In love like or in… well… no forget it. But, why?" he had not seen the question come and smirked a bit at it as he could not take it seriously.

"W-well… I just thought… You might like somebody… Do you have somebody you like in the love way?" Nagisa chose to ignore the little smirk. He hoped it would disappear after he would have said it. Karma sighed shortly as he could see it was a bit serious and thought about it. He chuckled shortly.

"Well… Not really… Not what I have thought about…" he smiled a bit and drank a little more before looking at the bluenette once more. He could see something was on his mind and it made him a little worried and was not sure what else to say or even think.

"I am just curious…" Nagisa decided to say. He clenched his grip in the lunchbox before proceeding with the conversation. He was very nervous about telling the red head about his feelings. He was not even sure what he would feel about a rejection. He knew it was possible, but somehow, he could only hope for a rejection. It was like… he expected it.

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 ** _Can I do this? What will happen if I get rejected?_**

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"Nagisa?" the red head caught his attention. Nagisa looked at him and noticed the worried look on his face. Nagisa put on his façade once again and smiled warmly. He just said it. He knew nothing would happen if he said nothing. He had to know the truth.

"Karma… I am in love with you…" he blushed a bit and looked down. Karma froze at the words and looked shocked at the bluenette. He was not sure what to say.

"Huh?" he was sure he heard wrong and smiled awkwardly at him. "What did you just say?" he whispered with a chuckle as he could not take it seriously. "Love me? You must be joking…" He started to laugh. Nagisa could feel his broken heart sink and his head just hang on his neck. He looked down on his box. He smiled very little.

"I am not joking…" he said and glanced at the red head. He could feel that he had to be ready for the final sentence. Karma stopped his laughing as he now knew it was serious meant. He scratched his neck shortly before finishing his milk. He gulped and looked at the bluenette once more and had to be positive, even with the answer he had to give.

"Nagisa... I really can't return your feelings... I don't feel that way for you." He answered with a wry smile and was somehow joking about it. Nagisa's world fell apart and knew he was not needed by anyone anymore.

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 ** _I knew it. Nobody wants me… They are all better off without me._**

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 ** _._**

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"O-okay..." he chose to answer and placed the lunchbox beside his leg. He silently rose. He smiled with tears in his eyes and walked over to the edge without a word.

"Nagisa…?" Karma followed the bluenette with his eyes and was confused over his movements. He rose with his box in his hand and looked confused towards the bluenette. Nagisa stopped by the edge.

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 ** _Karma… I hope you will be happy._**

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 ** _._**

 ** _._**

He turned around to face the red head with a hurt face. He smiled sadly, closed his eyes and within a second he just leaned backwards.

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 ** _Everyone. Be happy._**

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 ** _._**

Karma dropped everything he had in his hands as he saw it happen. He rushed over to try to catch the bluenette, but he fell before reaching the edge. He slid over the edge with his over body and had a hand reaching out for the fallen bluenette.

"NAGISA!" He screams out his name and was in shock. He saw the bluenette disappear between trees. He had to go down there. NOW.

He hurried to get down from the mountain and went to where Nagisa should be. He found the bluenette's body. It was a terrifying sight which made the heart inside of the red head's chest begin to race. He walked slowly, shocked over to it and realized it was true. The bluenette really did it. He fell to his knees and screamed out.

"WHY!?" he panted in his screams. He bend over and punched the ground right beside the body. "WHY NAGISA!? Why did you do it!?" He screamed out in shock. As he finally stopped screaming and calmed down, he started crying.

As the time went by, Koro-sensei went out to look for his students. It was normal for Karma to be skipping, but when Nagisa was the one not showing up, he decided to go look for them. He found out what had happened and was very shocked over the situation. An ambulance drove away with the body. The class got to know about the incident and everyone was shocked over it. Karma was asked if he wanted someone to talk to, but he rejected them. He felt so frustrated inside and did not have any strength to talk with anyone. He could not stop the questions he himself had inside. _Why…?_

Nagisa's family got to know about the suicide and the one who felt most devastated was his mother. She told the police that she had no idea about why he would do such a thing.

Karma on the other hand, had another idea, but he wanted to know if his fears where to be.

Under the burial, he had permission to go into the diseased bluenette's room. He looked around and sighed sadly as he remember last time he was there. Remembering the good moments he had with his friend… was like a nightmare to him now.

He started to look for notebooks. He knew the bluenette was writing a whole lot down. He hoped to find something like a diary or notes. He sighed as he did not find anything. _Properly nothing…_ He was about to walk out of the door while glancing at the bed, as he noticed something under the madras. He hurried over to it and took out the thing he saw. It was a diary. He sighed shortly releaved as he knew this was what he was looking for.

 ** _January 1st 200*._**

 ** _Dear Diary. My parents got divorced. I don't understand why. My mother started to blame me for being born a boy. Why?_**

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 ** _Dear diary. I knew it was her true feelings when she said those things to me. Once again, she told me she wished I was born a girl. She hate it that I am going to start in the E-class after the break._**

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 ** _Dear diary. She told me she wants me to change classes. I rejected and talked back at her which resulted in her slapping me. She slapped me. Am I a bad son?_**

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 ** _Dear diary. I no longer feel loved by my mother at all. We only fight when we are together._**

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 ** _Dear Diary. I have lost every single faith I had in anyone._**

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 ** _Dear Diary. My mother almost made me turn down my friends as she told me they would not even care if I did. Maybe she is right. Even so. I am glad I went with them. We had fun…_**

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 ** _Dear diary. I need somebody to love me._**

The entries got more and more depressing as Karma turned over the pages. He reached the last page and it was a few months old. He knew there had to be more. He looked at the school bag hanging on the chair. He gulped and rose from the bed after leaving the first diary on bed. He searched the bag and found the other diary. _This is quite new…_

"Karma…?"

Kayano knocked on the door as she entered. She had red eyes from crying and had just stopped crying. He looked surprised at her and held onto the book in his hands. "What is that?" Karma looked at it once before looking at her as he decided it would be okay for her to know.

"I had a feeling that he had a reason for doing what he did… So… I was checking for diaries.. There are entries in these two from a few years back. There were more and more entries after Koro-sensei appeared in our class." He explained. She looked surprised at him.

"Are you saying… he was mentally unstable…? How can that be? He was smiling all the time…" she said frustrated and felt like crying. Karma read some of the first pages in the other diary.

"Read this… It might explain it…" he said with a soft voice and showed it to her. He clearly showed of some frustrated glance.

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 ** _Dear Diary. Hiding my true feelings really saves me from getting hurt even more. Kayano always gives me that kind smile. I hope to see more of those…_**

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"He was hiding it…" she concluded. They both read the rest together. It was getting worse…

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 ** _Dear Diary. I was slapped again today. She said she wanted me to stay in my room without dinner. I am hungry… Maybe I should make my stomach used to more rarely to get food?_**

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 ** _Dear Diary. I have started to feel weird when I am around Karma. What is this? My heart cannot relax when I am around him…_**

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 ** _Dear Diary. Mother was cruel to me today. Convinced me in that my friends doesn't like me. None of them never told me their true feelings… I want to get away. But… I need to get through with my education. I still have a future… right?_**

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 ** _Dear Diary. I have realized it… I like Karma in a way far more than just friends…_**

Kayano read it and stared at the red head to see his reaction. His calm look made her confused and chose to ignore it for now. She read the rest along with him. They read through the entries and reached the latest. The latest four entries.

 ** _Dear Diary. My mother called me things. Things I can't even mention. My heart has been broken by those things. I feel my heart is no longer possible to repair. Do I even trust anyone?_**

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 ** _Dear Diary. Another day with criticism by my mother. I didn't say anything as she scolded me for nothing. She was just in a bad mood once again today. She told me that my friends doesn't like me again and I should drop them. Maybe she is right?_**

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 ** _Dear Diary. Here I am. I am me. I know I am me. Or.. am I? I hope so. My mother told me I am nothing. She hate me for not being the child she wanted. She is properly right. I am not the child anyone wants…_**

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 _(The day he committed suicide)_

 ** _Dear Diary. My mother really said it. She wished I never had been born. Nobody wants me. Those fake smiles. I hate them. I have decided to take a last chance. I will tell Karma about my feelings. Will he accept them? I hope… or else… where should I go? Maybe… I should just disappear._**

Karma looked at the next page, but it was blank. He could feel his heart get heavy and tears were trying to force their way out of his eyes. Kayano looked shocked at it. Did she really just read this?

"Karma… Did he confess to you?" she asked in a shock and looked shocked at him. He nodded shortly before letting his tears fall. "What did you answer?" She asked even though she knew the answer.

"I rejected him… I… rejected his feelings…" he felt very guilty now. The red head felt so bad about it all and bend over. "If I had accepted them… He might not have jumped…" He whispered and covered his mouth. Kayano could see it. He felt guilty. She then looked at the last entry.

"How could a mother say such a thing to her own child?" She blamed the mother more than her red haired classmate. She began crying as she thought about Nagisa again. She missed him and wished very much for she had known so she could have helped. Karma decided to let the book fall and embraced the girl. "Nagisa was so strong until his mother started breaking him… She broke him…"

"She has to pay…" Karma whispered and held her close. They sat there for a while.

As they both had calmed down, they walked out from the room with the diary in his hand. They agreed that it should be shown to the bluenette's mother.

Hiromi stood by the picture of her son which was surrounded by flowers and more. She was still sobbing as she turned and saw the two of them approach her. She saw a book in Karma's hand and saw Nagisa's name on it.

"I told you, you mustn't touch anything in there!" she exclaimed in anguish and was about to reach out for it, but Karma made sure she did not grab it.

"I want you to read this. Nagisa left behind one kind of a suicide letter! I want to hear why you would say something like that to your own son…" he said with a cold look and was pretty angry with the woman. Everyone looked shocked at them as they heard what Karma said. They did not know what was going on, but they heard most of it and knew it had something to do with Nagisa.

Hiromi looked confused at him and then at the book. She reached out her hand to receive the book. He was not happy to give it to her, but he hoped for the right reaction after she would have read it.

He opened the diary and found the last entry once again and then handed it over to her. She read it and soon after a shocked expression showed on her face. She covered her mouth and fell to her knees. Karma was relieved to see her in pain as she started to cry for real. She now knew, her words drove him to the edge. No. _Over_ the edge.

Karma himself, came over it. He knew that there was nothing more to do. He saw a bit pain in the bitch's face and it was enough for him. He could finally blame someone than himself for the bluenette's actions.

He did wish for a chance to turn back time to save his bluenette.

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 **Sounds like it would awesome with another chapter about Karma saving him, but nope. Won't happen. Goodnight guys and thanks for reading ^^**

 **REVIEW PLEASE 3**


	2. Sad News

**19th of November 2016.**

Hey guys. I post this extra "chapter" to tell you a thing.

This is also meant for the other stories. Sorry for not updating so often anymore... Something terrible happened while I was gone from Fanfiction. This has made me so sad and devastated, that it has been hard for me to do anything. There is a longer story waiting for you. It is about a classmate of mine. He was a very nice guy in my class. 22 years old. 1-2 years older than me. (I just turned 21)  
He always tried his best to make me smile, laugh and more. He was too touchy for me to handle some time. He liked to tease me, but I did not find it funny sometimes. Furthermore, we did walk home together sometimes all alone. He was soooo sweet when we were alone. Last week, we in the class, had noticed that his behavior had changed. He was absent a whole lot and boys in class started to mock him about it.

This Friday, he kept coming over to my desk to just smile at me which confused me a whole lot. He just.. Smiled at me with a warm smile, telling me he wanted to look at my face. I did not notice anything. This Monday afternoon, I found out that he had went missing Sunday night. It seemed like he had left his phone at home and just walked off. Tuesday noon, the class got the message.

He had committed suicide.

I was so devastated that I could not think. I had never thought something like that could happen to such a happy guy. He was such a popular guy with lots of friends. The reason why I tell you did, is because I feel somehow responsible for his choice. I rejected him, even though it was obvious that he had a slight crush on me. He called me beautiful, sweet and more just to make me smile. But with many things in my life, I was not used to that kind of sweetness and I pushed him away. And this thing... I cannot help think of this Fanfiction. I MADE THIS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED.

Therefore, I will do a remake of this story, where Nagisa is saved. Only to honor my late friend. I don't know when I will post it, but I promise. It will be made. Thanks for reading this. Be sure to contact me, if you want to talk or anything else


	3. Alternative Version (No Character Death)

**This is for you, Rasmus. My dear friend who is no longer with us. I will always think of you!**

 _Some things have been changed in order to be realistic. Nagisa will be based on something a mental doctor has told me. When a person has been sad for a long time and suddenly is happy one day all of a sudden, it is a dangerous sign. Therefore, this chapter be a little different and also from Karma's point of view instead._

 **I hope you will like this. Thank you for following me and my stories.**

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Karma POV

The lesson had just begun. It was cold outside, probably because it was soon to hit November. As I always do, I looked towards Nagisa who sat up in the front. I had noticed something about his smile for some time. The last few days where I have been in class, his smile had become more dishonest and fated. It seemed like he was down about something. Not so long time ago, I visited him at home and I was greeted by his mother. She was obviously angry about something and it bothered me that I did not know what it could be. I tried asking Nagisa about it, but as always, he denied everything I had seen. He acted like he did not know what his mother was angry about, but I could see in his eyes that he lied. Back then, I ignored it and just wanted to play games with him.

Today was another day where he did not smile as much as he used to. I wondered why… As we had our first break, I went over to his seat and bend over his desk.

"Nee, Nagisa. Wanna go for a walk?" I asked him, he looked confused up at me like I did something unexpected. Nagisa titled his head shortly before nodding.

"Su-sure?" he answered and rose from his seat. We walked out of class, I noticed some of the others glanced at our direction, but I decided to ignore it and just walked on. Nagisa was quiet most of the way which bothered me. He usually was the one starting the conversations, but not this time. I sighed heavily as we reached the outsides. Nagisa looked confused up at me as I caught his attention.

"So, have you gotten any new ideas on how to kill Koro-sensei?" I asked him. I wanted to ask about something else, but I did not feel like bothering him like that for now. He shortly looked thoughtful and then shook his head with a smile.

"Not really, I just thought of how he acts when some of us are in danger. He is quite vulnerable when it comes to us…" Nagisa answered. It surprised me. He was right. Koro-sensei did have a big weakness when it came to us.

"You're right…" I giggled shortly and turned to walk on. "That would be such a nice plan… But… I remembered hearing something about you attempting to suicide-bomb him… Is that not true?" I stopped and looked curious at him. Nagisa froze a bit and nodded nervously.

"Y-yeah, I did… He got pretty angry…" I could see that he did not really like talking about that. It did not stop me from talking on though…

"Ah… I do love pissing him off… Maybe I should try to do something again like last time _…?" I really wish I had never said that_. I noticed Nagisa twitch for a second and became silent. He then looked up at me with a wry smile.

"Let's drop that idea…" he said with a warm smile and made me confused. I nodded shortly, but clearly showed off an expression of irritation lightly over dropping a pretty waterproofed plan. "It's not like he will fall for the same trick again…" he continued and made me smile a bit, but what he properly did not think, was I would hear his little mumbling. _"He would properly not care if I did it…"_ My eyes widened and looked shocked at him. He faced the ground, so he did not notice my reaction. _What the heck was that kind of thought!?_ My heart stopped for a moment and looked shocked at him. My blood ran cold and made my whole body freeze. I stood there before trying to get to know of what he meant by that.

"Nagisa… What were you just sa-"

"Karma-kun! Nagisa-kun! You'll be late for class!"

It was Sugino calling for us. I looked towards the boy and glared shortly as I felt we were interrupted. I did not get to say more before Nagisa rushed over to their classmate.

"Coming!" he cheered.

I stood back and was not sure how to react about that selfless thought. I knew he was important to Koro-sensei and he had known for a long time as well, but how could he think like that. I went silently back to class before thinking about it too much. I sighed and scratched my neck in confusion. _Should I try ask him in the next break?_ I decided not to, I hated being too pushy. He clearly hated it, but I had to know why he would think something like that…

Later on, I tried my best to figure out what was going on about his thoughts and behaviour. I decided not to approach him anymore for the day and just spy on him. I wanted to see how he would act with anyone and what they would do if they would notice something was off. Nagisa was clearly not paying much attention to class and it bothered me even more as he sometimes would stare out in the blue or look down on his desk. I could clearly see something was wrong, also in the breaks. He was not as ambitious as he used to be. I had not really noticed much of that kind of behaviour before today. As I sat there and glancing at him in the last lesson of the day, I remembered an afternoon last week when I had left the school building, but came back because I wanted to set up a trap for Koro-sensei. I found Nagisa sitting by himself, writing a whole lot in some book of his. I did not go inside to him or let him know that I saw him. I came to think of what that was about. I heard yesterday Sugino and Kayano talk about how often they had been rejected on going home together with the bluenette. I frowned at the thought. It had actually become worse than I had realised to begin with. I had to talk to him…

As the lesson concluded, I waited to see if he stayed or went home. As I anticipated, Nagisa stayed behind, rejected Sugino from going home with him. I waited to they all had left. Nagisa had clearly not noticed I was still in here, because as I rose, he jumped in shock and looked surprised back at me.

"Karma!?"

I could not help, but smile at him and went over to his seat. I sat down on Maehara's desk beside Nagisa's and looked a little concerned at him afterwards.

"Nagisa, why are you staying back?" I started out. He just stood there and looked nervous at me. He sighed and sat down again.

"Don't scare me like that… You really gave me a shock there…" he chuckled shortly and put away his book. He dodged the question. I did not get to see what had been written, but I knew it was some kind of diary. I did not really want to dig in for further information so I decided to ignore it and then waited for an answer to my previous question. Nagisa glanced at me before noticing my awaiting look. He shortly scratched his neck and looked away.

"Soo…? Why are you staying back? Something bothering you?" I repeated the question as I clearly could see he did not really want to answer it. Nagisa turned shortly and stayed silent for a second before looking at me again. He hesitated before answering.

"I just need some time alone… I have things to do. My mother is home now and I can't be alone anywhere else than here…?" He answered. I sensed some hesitation in his voice, but it sounded true enough. I nodded shortly.

"So you want to be alone? You want me to leave?" I asked to be sure. Nagisa nodded with a saddened smile. I sighed shortly and grabbed my neck in frustration, as I really wanted to make sure that he was okay, because he clearly was not okay.

"I just have a lot to do and think about…" he was honest. I wanted to know more.

"I see… But Nagisa. What is wrong? You seem down..." I said. I tried a last question. Nagisa became silent and looked away. He grabbed his wrist in as he clearly became nervous about the situation. He then turn to look at me with a sad smile.

"I really want to be alone… Please." He answered and looked at me with serious eyes. I sighed heavily as I gave in and then nodded.

"Fine, I'll leave…" I let my arms relax and then silently placed a hand on top of his head. "But seriously… If anything's wrong… You know you can come to me…" I said with a serious look. Nagisa stared surprised at me for some time before nodding with a warm, yet very sad smile.

"Thanks…!"

I left after that. Walking down the hallway, I thought about it all. I could not really do anything and that made me crazy. My head kept telling me to do something about that weird behaviour of his. I sighed heavily as I left the school building. I looked towards the sky and sighed as it had started to get dark. _Don't stay back too long, Nagisa…_

The next day, I was late. I did not really care about being late, but one thing made me go a bit faster to school than usual. The thought of Nagisa. I hoped to see him in the class, as I had been worried all night. I had a short chat with him yesterday evening, but today, he had not replied any of my messages. It made me worried and made me want to hurry, but as the train was late, I was late as well.

I reached the school and the stairs. I made it up in minutes and hurried to the class. As I reached the top, I noticed a strain of Blue hair in the window and my heart eased at once. _He is here!_ I relaxed a whole lot and then calmed down enough to walk in like normal. I walked down the hallway as I heard someone.

"Good Morning! Nagisa" I heard Kayano's voice out loud from the classroom. I stopped shortly as I met Koro-sensei on my way. I quickly got my instincts as an assassin activated and attacked him with all my might. He dodged of course and laughed at me. I groaned shortly, as he was haughty at me. I put away my weapon and went inside the class. I looked towards Sugino and Kayano who seemed to be talking to Nagisa happily. I then saw a warm and lovely smile of Nagisa's. He smiled happily at me and made me surprised. I smiled back at him and then went over to my seat. _He smiled… Like he used to weeks ago..._ As the lesson started, I observed him. He seemed to smile a whole lot throughout the whole lesson. He was also active in class and listened. We had the first break and I stayed on my seat and chatted shortly with Terasaka before glancing at Nagisa again. He himself was chatting with Kanzaki and Okuda about something that Karasuma-sensei had said to us yesterday. _I wonder what happened since he was his old self. It's been a while since I've seen him like that._ I could not help, but smile at the thought. He was finally back. His old cheerful Nagisa.

Terasaka and I were having our chat about how to kill Koro-sensei in a more intensive way. The next lesson began. I sat and observed Nagisa most of the time, as I still could not believe it.

It was as if something had happened today. He seemed happier than he had been for a long time. It was like something good had happened to him, and he finally had gotten better with his mother or something.

I kept looking at Nagisa for a long time to observe how he acted while we had our lessons. It seemed to me like everything was normal, so I could relax. I stopped looking at him as I suddenly got a paper ball thrown at me.

"Karma-kun! I am talking to you!"

I looked surprised at Bitch-sensei, as she was our teacher right now. We had our English lesson. After some time of looking at her, I smirked.

"Yeah, I noticed. Your bitchiness was a bit hard to get through though~!" I teased, making her face turn red in rage. I stuck out my tongue at her and then made her repeat her question. I answered quickly and perfectly, before I just relaxed after that. Many in class laughed at me and then the lesson continued as normal.

Authors POV

The lunchbreak was closing by and Karma sat and was very bored. He knew about all the stuff that Bitch-sensei was teaching them for now. He looked at Terasaka who seemed to have it hard, focusing. The red haired boy smirked and whispered with a low voice.

" _You know. About that thing with Koro-sensei's new assassination-plan. You sure you won't miss…?_ " he teased him roughly. Terasaka groaned at him as he heard it. He looked a little pissed at them.

" _Shut up…_ " he whispered and looked at Bitch-sensei. Karma giggled with a low voice.

" _I mean it. We can't have you burst out in anger if you miss the first time. That might ruin the next move…?_ " he said and smirked at his classmate. Terasaka flushed in anger and burst with a low voice.

"SHUT UP!"

Karma smirked even more as he found it fun teasing him like this. He went further.

"Oh come on. I know a way to make you better… Just eat wasabi…" he said out a little louder than whispering. They both got the attention of the class as Bitch-sensei stopped her teaching. She could not concentrate with the mumbling from the back row. She was about to tell them to be silent as Terasaka burst out in anger and irritation.

"You sure love pissing someone off, huh!?" he yelled at the red head who looked surprised at him. Terasaka rose from his seat, grabbed Karma by his collar, and pulled him closer to stare him down. The red head grinned at the angered face in his sight. He did not move and just looked at the angered boy with a word.

Nagisa looked at them and smiled a bit as he felt nostalgic at the sight. He sighed shortly as Karma started to pick up a fight with their classmate. Terasaka started yelling at Karma, who just talked back at him, calmly. Many of the students rose from their seat and talked about it, many of them laughed at Terasaka's high temper. With a friendly mind though. Kayano walked nervously over to Nagisa and looked at the boys.

"N-Nagisa… Should you be stopping them?" she asked nervously. Nagisa shook his head and just smiled warmly while looking at them.

"Nah, It's okay. This might be the last fight I get to see." He answered without thinking and just enjoyed the nice atmosphere. She looked shocked at him as she heard it. _What did he just say..?_

"What di-"

"Break it up you two!" Karasuma-sensei burst as he entered the classroom. He looked pretty pissed, but it was clear that he did not mean it in a harsh way. Bitch-sensei became all excited and happy as she saw him enter. She smiled dreamy and went over to molest him as she always do.

"Karasuma! Please, let me sleep at your house again!" she exclaimed happily. Terasaka and Karma stopped their fight as the two love bugs caught the attention of the whole class. Laughter and joy filled the class and Nagisa enjoyed the time more than he had ever done. He smiled warmly and made Karma notice feel relieved by the smile he got for a second time today. Kayano stood back and looked nervous at the bluenette after hearing what he said and it worried her a whole lot as she had never heard something like that from him before. She wanted to ask, but could not make herself ask as he seemed so happy. It was a long time since she had seen him this happy. She subsided the worries and just looked at the love bugs once again.

Karma waited until the lesson before the lunch break was over before contacting his blue haired friend. It took him some time of impatience before the lesson finally ended. He sighed heavily as the wait was over and then got up from his seat. He glanced at the bluenette who gladly smiled at his the others as they were talking to him. Karma stood back and felt some kind of happiness inside him. It made him happy to see the bluenette smile like that. He just went over to him as he saw the others go. Nagisa turned as he noticed his red haired friend standing beside his desk.

"Karma…" he smiled at him.

"You seem happy today? Something good happened?" Karma asked with a smirk, not thinking of anything negative at all. Nagisa looked surprised at him and titled his head a little. His smile turned wry and then nodded. _Please… Don't notice it…_ He wished with all of his heart. Karma wondered what had happened and wanted to know.

"It's no big thing though…" Nagisa chose to answer after a bit of silence. The red haired checked his surroundings and thought there were too many in the class for them to talk privately.

"Wanna go and eat outside?" he then asked his blue haired friend. Nagisa looked shortly surprised at him and then nodded with a warm smile.

"Sure…!" he answered and took out his lunchbox from his bag. As Nagisa was occupied with his bag, Kayano took the chance to approach the red head. Karma was told something that worried him a bit, but he did not really take it as something serious. He went over to the door.

Even though the lunchbox was empty, Nagisa had brought it with him. He did not bring lunch with him today. _Why eat if you are going to end it all anyway?_ He thought.

"So, are you coming?" Karma asked from the door. In a second, he had moved over to the door, ready to go. Nagisa laughed shortly and nodded. He went with his friend out of the class.

They walked down the hallway as Nagisa faced the floor, thinking about what to say to his red haired friend. He was quiet most of the time as they went down the hallway and further outside. They walked for a short time before Nagisa rose his head and glanced at his red haired friend.

"Karma…? What would you do if I wasn't here anymore?" it slipped through his lips. He did not ask with a loud voice, but it happened. Karma's eyes widened as he heard the question and stopped walking. He looked shocked at his friend. The question somehow shocked him, but he was also very scared.

"Why do you ask? What is that kind of question?" he frowned and looked a little irritated at his blue haired friend. Nagisa smiled wryly and then tilted his head as he stopped walking and turned towards the red head.

"I was just wondering. I was thinking of when we would be separated after this year." He lied, but Karma did not really notice. He just glared at the bluenette and pulled out a strawberry milk. He opened and walked on.

"Don't give me those kind of questions. They are like my parents whenever they leave. They have asked me that for every time they depart for one of their journeys." He groaned and walked. Nagisa nodded and smiled jokingly and followed his class.

"Yeah Sorry. I was joking…!" he smiled warmly and walked with Karma towards the hill.

They went up to the log and sat down, not so far from the edge. They both sat down in silence. Karma ate a bit of his lunch before noticing that Nagisa did not eat anything.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" he asked. Nothing happened. There was a heavy silence between them and it irritated Karma.

"Nagisa-"

"Karma. I want to ask you something important." Nagisa broke out and looked at him with a very serious look. The red head looked at him and could somehow sense that something was off. He gulped soundless and nodded.

"Okay?"

Nagisa took a deep breath and said out straight. "Do you like anybody?"

Karma froze and for the second time, looked shocked at his friend. _What the heck is going on? It can't be like as in love-like, right?_

"Why do you ask? Do you?" he decided to ask and placed his lunchbox beside his legs where he sat. He then looked awaiting at his friend. Nagisa faced the ground for a moment before rising his head. He smiled nervously and nodded afterwards.

"Yeah… And he is right in front of me…" he was being honest to the bone, saying out straight who he liked. This was the third time that Karma had been surprised by something the bluenette had said. He could not really take it seriously and titled his head.

"You're joking, right?"

"No…"

Karma gulped and scratched his neck as he realised the bluenette was serious. Nagisa observed the red head's reaction and then smiled warmly with a trace of sadness hidden in his eyes. _He doesn't like me that way… right?_

"You l-like me?" Karma stuttered and looked a little nervous at the bluenette. "Nagisa… I-"

"I love you Karma… I am in love with you…" he blushed a bit and looked down. Karma froze at the words and looked shocked at the bluenette. He was not sure what to say. He sat there for a few minutes in silence, as he was not sure what to say. He knew Nagisa was serious, but he had not those kind of feelings towards him. He gulped as he chose to answer.

"Nagisa... I... I don't feel that way about you." He answered with a very frail smile, but tried his best to show that he understood and hoped it was okay. He knew that the bluenette was unstable; he had to be honest and still be there for his friend. Nagisa's world fell apart and felt like he was not needed by anyone anymore. Karma observed the bluenette's reaction and movements. He could clearly see that something was wrong. It was then he saw the empty eyes. The blue orbs filled with life and light, had become dark and lifeless. They were not as they used to be. He gulped another time as he became nervous.

"O-okay..." Nagisa stuttered his answer with his face hidden behind his bangs and placed the lunchbox beside his right leg. He silently rose. He smiled with tears in his eyes and walked over to the edge without a word.

"Nagisa…?" Karma followed the bluenette with his eyes and rose after placing his own lunchbox on the ground. He saw his walk. He stopped by the edge.

 _What is he going to do!?_ Karma just looked at the boy as he turned around to look at him with teary eyes. _Nagisa…?_ As he stood there with the sad bluenette far in front of him, the memories they had had together suddenly started flashing in his mind. He remembered hearing Nagisa's words about not being there anymore. Also those words of Kayano's. _"Nagisa said something as he was seeing that fight between you and Terasaka-kun… He said it was the last time… I hope he is okay…"_ Karma realized that it was not anything about transferring. He looked at the bluenette and could clearly see in his face, he was going to do something.

Nagisa smiled sadly and just leaned backwards. Karma felt his heart sink as he saw it, but his feet moved on their own. He ran towards the falling bluenette and fortunately, he was quick enough. His heart was beating very fast as he threw himself over the edge to grab the bluenette. He groaned as he in one movement caught his friend's wrist. It happened just in the last second. Nagisa gasped as he felt something grab his wrist and prevented him from falling. He looked up and saw Karma above him. The red head had grabbed onto the edge and held them both up. Nagisa started struggling and twitching.

"Why did you save me!? Let go of me! I am better off dead…! No one wants me….!" He cried, only wanting to fall to end his life. Karma clenched hard around the bluenette's wrist, even though it was hard for him to keep the grip as the boy struggled to get free. He decided not to say anything as the thing Nagisa said was hurting. He pulled them both up on the safe grounds. Nagisa continued to struggle in panic as he felt the red head pull him up. Karma got up, but the bluenette was still hanging over the edge.

"I may not be able to return those feelings of yours, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you! I still love you as a friend!" Karma then exclaimed as he had both hands around Nagisa's one wrist, keeping him from falling. Nagisa gasped from those words and froze. He stopped struggling and felt the red head pull him up from the edge. Karma brought them both away from the corner of the rock and in one last movement; he pulled the bluenette into a tight embrace. He felt himself tremble as he held his friend close. He let the words slip out of the corner of his lips. "I was really scared there… For real, I have never been so frightened, as when I saw you fall. I really thought I was about to lose you…" He breathed out in relief. _"Thank god, I caught you…"_

Nagisa's eyes widened as he listened to the red head's words and then looked pained down. He did not hug him back at first, but as he suddenly realized what he almost did, he started tremble. He brought his hands up to pull in the red head's shirt. Memories of his, flashed through his mind. He saw everything bad that had happened the last few weeks. He clenched his grip as he remembered his mother saying that thing today.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 ** _"_ _I wish you never had been born. Everything would be easier without you!"_**

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The words kept repeating inside of his head while he felt a pair of warm, gentle and love filled arms around him. He could already feel the self-hatred come forward inside him. He wanted so much to die, to disappear from the world, but Karma would not let him. He knew that now. He knew that even if his red haired friend had rejected his confession, he still cared about him. As he concluded all the feelings, they overflowed his mind, making it hard for him to hold back. The tears started to stream out. He started sobbing as his hid his head in the red head's chest.

"S-sorry…!" he cried out and let out all the tears that he kept inside through so many hard moments in his life for the past months. Karma listened to the boy's crying while just holding him close. He could feel his own heart still beating fast after the shock. The cry made him calm down, as he knew he had saved his dear friend.

They sat there for quite some time before Nagisa stopped crying. His breathing had become heavy, as he could not breathe through the nose due to the crying. Karma listened to him and then pulled back a little. He looked at him, only to see the eyes that was once empty and lifeless, become filled with life again. He smiled a bit and then caressed the bluenette over his head.

"You okay now?" he asked, receiving a nod as an answer. Nagisa sniffed. He hoped there was no need for explanation and then looked away to looked towards the edge. He tried to find the want to end his life, but it was gone. He looked somehow confused and turned his face again to face the red head. Karma wanted to know why the bluenette had tried that extreme thing, but what he saw right now, what a fragile little bluenette, who only seemed to need a hug right now. He sighed and pulled him into a hug for another time.

Nagisa felt it and could not help, but smile. The feeling of the embrace made him so comfortable that he felt safer than ever. "Thank you for saving me…" he smiled sadly. He looked up at the red head. Karma looked down at him and saw the smile. He blushed a bit, as it was quite a nice view. He smiled back with a slight wry smile.

"Like I would let my best friend fall… Don't ever do that again though… You mind telling me what was going through that head of yours?" he decided to ask now that he got the chance.

Nagisa lost his smile, but it was not like he wanted to avoid telling Karma the truth. He already knew how mentally sick he was now. Nagisa nodded and started telling him about how he had been feeling and what had happened between him and his mother. Karma listened and still had his arms around him. He frowned more and more as the words became very hurtful. Nagisa started to tremble just by thinking about the last few days and what his mother said this morning. The red head demanded the bluenette in showing him the bruises that was said to have been left behind by the mother. It hurt deep inside as the bluenette removed his shirts. He frowned at the sight of the blue and purple marks on the little boy.

"You went through a lot… Why didn't you tell me about this before? I could have helped you…" he also felt hurt by not getting to know about it. Nagisa smiled wryly while looking as his scars from his self-harm. He had also cut his own wrists in frustration to get the feelings out. Karma stroke gently over the scars as well. It was winter, so Nagisa was wearing the winter-uniform, preventing anyone from seeing the scars. The red head looked at them for once more and then sighed.

"I'm sorry… I didn't want to bother anyone… Not you at all…" Nagisa said and sniffled shortly. Karma rose his head and looked at the bluenette. He thought of what to do and groaned shortly.

"We'll figure something out… Just… Never carry so many things on your own… It can become too much… as for today…" he said with a wry smile. He then pulled then bluenette into his body with one arm, while having the other relaxed by his side. He was somehow happy about his friend sharing everything with him now. He was finally inside the bluenette's tough life. "I'll help you… Just let me stay in..."

Nagisa nodded and felt comfortable. After this, Koro-sensei came to find his students as they took a long time to return. He found them hugging and asked what had happened, as he noticed the bluenette's half-naked body covered in bruises. Nagisa could no longer hide it. He decided to share the event with him, but made them both promise that no one will find out. Nagisa wanted to heal on his own without anyone getting worried about him. Only Koro-sensei and Karma were the ones who knew about this.

The matter about Hiromi Shiota is another story.

* * *

 **A happy ending! Well, for non BL lovers... I hope it was okay. I would love to get feedback! ^w^ THANKS AGAIN~**


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